Renowrites blog!

Author of YA novel "Enlightenment" available March 2019!

Moments

We are at the dawn of 2014 descending upon us.

Naturally, we become nostalgic and look for the silver linings in 2013 experiences. It’s my belief we live our life for the big moments that redefine our very existence. Many times, one doesn’t know the moment occurred until after the fact, while others know they are on the cusp of something great.

On July 25 2013, I finally met my older brother Gaysario Ursal. I feared this moment for years, not sure what to expect. But as our first handshake occurred, I felt the puzzle pieces scattered in random directions in my life finally connecting. The more I spent time in his presence, an indescribable bond coursed through me. It’s a feeling very hard to describe in words, but it’s in the same vein as when Noah was born in 2005.

I just wanted to hear him talk, learn his mannerisms and body language tendencies. As I assessed him through the day, a energetic peace settled in my stomach. I wished my sisters were with me as I realized…

…we have a brother.

His four sons, my nephews, have a permanent place in my life. Joshua kept me informed through facebook when Typhoon Haiyan hit. Even though their house was destroyed, Joshua sent a picture of his kuya Christian on top of the demolished house in a hardcore, funny pose. Luckily, we were able to get the house back up. I think of Nino, JV, Jushua and Christian everyday. How can I make their life better?

Once we got back to the States, the first meeting experience slowly became a dreamlike memory. So today, we work on our relationship through social media. We take it day-by-day, but finally —- we got here.

That same day, I visited the grave of the sister I never knew, Susan Hertriel Ursal. My father, mother, Lynette and the kids stood in the distance as a combination of closure and emptiness overcame me. How unfair it seems to not have met.

Gradually, I hope to get over why it took so long. But admittedly, I think of what could have been.

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Filed under: Writing

The Holidays

It’s always a special time of year in late December. This year, it has snuck up on me. I need to live in the moment, not worry about the future, just live in the moment before time passes me by.

Writing always used to be an escape, an outlet. I need to get back to it on a consistent basis. I am — in a writing rut.

Here’s to fighting one’s way through adversity.

Filed under: Writing